Today, July 14, is International Non-Binary Day. The day was invented in a blog post by the author Katje von Loon. She lamented the lack of visibility for non-binary people and chose the fourteenth of July as the day that falls exactly between International Women’s Day (March 8) and International Men’s Day (November 19). Smart! The day has been officially celebrated since 2012.
What is non-binary?
A quick recap for anyone wondering “What does non-binary actually mean again?” Non-binary or NB (enby) for short is a collective term that covers all gender identities that cannot be clearly assigned to the gender binary, i.e. either male or female. Here again, it is noticeable how much a differentiation between “sex” and “gender” is missing, as it is in English. This is because NB does not primarily or exclusively refer to the physical sex (“sex”). Then again, “non-binary” as a gender identity is different from sexual orientation.
Enby people can be androgynous, they can be intersex, they can be pangender, they can also completely reject the category of gender or sex as such. They can be genderqueer or genderfluid, or agender. In contrast to trans men and trans women, non-binary people do not see themselves as belonging to a clear gender category. Gender Wiki offers a very practical summary of non-binary people .
The non-binary flag, as seen above, is yellow-white-purple-black and was designed in 2014. Yellow represents people outside the binary distinction (and is a primary color alongside red and blue). White represents all genders. Purple is the mix between masculine and feminine qualities. Finally, black represents the absence of gender or sex.
Okay, now what? Why celebrate that?
This question is just as tactless as asking why there is no straight pride. Non-binary is a comparatively new category in the public debate and faces a lot of misunderstanding, criticism and erasure. It can be more difficult to come out as a non-binary person, which I can agree with from my personal experience. The non-binary author Damoun expresses this very succinctly in his commentary in the Siegessäule:
‘In the case of non-binarity, it is often the case that your existence is ignored until you have made all the Stefans and Annikas believe that there are more than two genders. We are under the paradoxical pressure to prove a gender role that is simultaneously made invisible by the dominant society.
What makes it even more difficult for NB is that, as mentioned above, they are not a homogeneous group. Non-binary is more than your metrosexual white friend who can take it upon himself to paint his nails and put on a dress for Mardi Gras. Non-white, non-male, non-slim, non-able-bodied people also naturally belong in an inclusive understanding of non-binary.
The holiday is good because it provides visibility and creates community, but also helps to address the legal requirements for a dignified life. In the US, for example, it is legal to officially identify as NB in only 11 out of 52 states. Austria has only recently announced that it will expand its gender categories. And anyway, not even my Language Tool knows the term “non-binary” and keeps underlining it for me in red. That’s why July 14 exists.
How can we be better allies?
Stonewall lists 10 very good points. As a general rule: “Don’t assume.” Inclusive language is key, “people” instead of “ladies and gentlemen”, “they” (plural) instead of “he” and “she” (singular). Ask people for their pronouns, introduce yourselves with your own pronouns! Inform yourself, you have the internet at your fingertips. If you have non-binary friends, you can tactfully ask them about something that is on your mind. Remember: they are not human encyclopaedias and do not owe you every answer.
And so we conclude again with a quote from Damoun:
Being non-binary also means […] embracing ambiguity, enduring […] My gender identity is something that exists not because of me or for me, but rather through me, by showing myself the way I want to. I don’t owe anyone androgyny or explanations just because I’m non-binary.
Yas!